Monday, June 27, 2005

I've Got The Golden Ticket

Since this is DC, and everybody knows somebody who knows somebody, Dave and I got a tour of the West Wing last week. This is the something that I have wanted to do for a while, but it kept getting pushed back, and back. Well finally, Me standing outside the Oval Office saying "yep, looks just like TV show."

The entire west wing is pretty small, and a lot more cramped than you would imagine. There are huge pictures of the President everywhere and I was told that they are updated weekly, highlighting all of his various activities. Most of the major rooms were roped off, but I got to stick my head in and look around. You can't take pictures inside the building, but I was able to take some in the Rose Garden and the Press Briefing room. Since I refuse to get a digital camera (mainly because the type I would want would be ultra expensive, and my current Nikon has become like a child to me) the pictures are not ready yet. So stay tuned for that. My instict tells me that I took some good ones, and even some that might make you laugh.

I was afraid of feeling like a stranger in a strange land, but the tour was not at all political even though I was with five Republicans. I learned a few interesting things while I was there: The Presidents current personal aide got the job because he dated Jenna in high school. The President's dog gained 15 pounds in his first year in office because staffers kept giving him candy. The Situation room is located across the hall from the west wing dining room. Lastly, when Dave was a kid he spilled jelly bellys all over the floor of the Oval Office.

After we had dinner in town, we walked by the White House later that night when it was all lit up. Pennsylvania Avenue in front of the White House has been closed off to cars for security reasons and is now a pedestrian walkway. So, as we are strolling by looking at all the tourists looking at the White House, I notice a mother taking a photo of her family by the fence. Being the kind, considerate person that I am, and knowing what it is like to want a picture of yourself in front of an important landmark, I ask the woman very nicely if she would like me to take a picture of the whole group for her. Well, little did I know that the woman was possessed by a dragon of death. She turned her head and snapped at me like I was trying to steal her wallet. "NO THANK YOU!!" was what she spewed at me between flames. Apparently I am a threat to all tourists in my seersucker suit. That midwestern tourist bitch should be so lucky to have me take her picture. OK, I feel better now.



Secret Squirrel said...

Gee and to think after I read the headline to this post, I thought you were going to be the the next Veruca Salt. I want everything and I want it NOW!! I hope when you were there you did not get run over by the President Martin Sheen, ohhh wait a minute he only thinks he is the President. Kind of like those commercials for Holiday Inn Express, where the people get all smart and whatnot for staying there "Ohh my goodness are you the Presidnet", "ahh no but i did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night." On that not i will leave you with a littel joke maybe you have heard it maybe you have not, but you will have to wait for the next post to get the answer. Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella???

Secret Squirrel said...

This does not count as the joke answer post, sorry i forgot to rant about that midwetern tourist who you said was the the devil reincarnate. Maybe she was from the Westborough Baptist Church in Kansas. I do not know if you have heard of them they were up protesting a few weeks ago when the Red Sox did that whole queer eye thingy and they were protesting again this past week at a Green Beret's funeral up in Marblehead. They are a whack job church that feels the 9/11 was a good thing because it killed a bunch of "fags", their word not mine. Also they feels that the soldiers death was a good thing because, as they say God Hates America and God Hates Fags. If you want to be truly appalled then go to their web site or it is truly amazing how freakish some people can be.

number4of5 said...

It is very funny that you mention Veruca Salt. You may have noticed that I have added a few links to my site, including some songs. I was very close to adding the song that she sings in the movie. I am excited about the new Willy Wonka, but fear that I loved the old one so much it won't compare.

As for your other comments, they have inspired their own post. I am working on that now.