Thursday, July 07, 2005

"Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?"

So, I have this really bad habit of drunk dialing people. Tonight I drunk dialed all of my siblings and asked them why O's fans are all such rednecks. My brothers both responded by saying that I should not get Dave's ass kicked at the baseball game. We are home safe and there was no ass kicking. That does not mean that they are not rednecks, it just means that I managed to not piss anyone off.

I hate the O's. I also hate Baltimore. For a long time Baltimore was the only place I could go in this area to watch a baseball game. Now that I have the Nationals, and I am lucky enough to have season tickets, I don't have to go to Baltimore quite as often. Except when the World Champion Boston Red Sox are in town. Then I must sit in the car for two hours in traffic, waiting to see the real Boys of Summer take the field. This is the first time I have see my beloved team in person since last summer, before they beat New York, before they swept St. Louis, and before they got their rings. The last time I saw a Sox game was also in Baltimore and it was rained out that night as well. Last summer one of my friends got her husbands law firm seats and we sat right next to the Rem Dog on the club level. Second inning-rain. I hate Baltimore.

I have probably been to a dozen of so games in Camden Yards and most have them have not been good. Last summer during the Great Cicada Crisis of 2004, we watched the Yankees spank the Orioles by about 8 million to 2. The worst part was that the game was so boring, reject O's fans thought it would be a good idea to eat Cicadas. If you were not on the east coast last summer, the twenty year Cicada cycle struck, and they were everywhere. Yes, O's fans were eating Cicadas. At one point people were collecting them so that one particularly demented man could eat over twenty of them. As if there is any question, yes I was gagging. Redneck status cemented forever in my mind.

I was also lucky enough to be at Camden Yards for the opening game of 2004. Pedro started the game in about negative 10 degree weather and I froze my ass off. I sat in the outfield, freezing, for nine innings while my team was slaughtered. As if that were not bad enough, I ate a hamburger at the game that made me sick for two days. Recap, 9 innings of butt ass cold baseball, 1 hamburger, 2 days of sickness. Nope, not fun.

There have been a few fun games at Camden Yards. The summer after Dave and I started dating we drove up to watch the O's play Tampa Bay. It was really random game to go to but we got really drunk. So drunk in fact we could not drive home. We walked around the inner harbor for a while trying to find a hotel with an empty room. Lucky for us it was the same weekend as the Preakness and there was not a hotel room to be found. This led to a lot of walking around until Dave was sober enough to drive home. Can you see why I love Baltimore so much?

I was very disappointed tonight for several reasons. First, the World Champion Boston Red Sox fielded their C team. No Tek, no Manny, no JD, no rent-a-wreck. Second it poured, and poured, and poured. Third, we lost. Another disappointing trip to the most disappointing city on the east coast. I am thankful that I do not live there, and I am very thankful that I am not from there. Perhaps we will have better luck tomorrow...


Anonymous said...

I'm told that your mother dialed you while you were drunk and that you had a long conversation with her. Apparently she was teasing you with some information about a birthday present that she has already bought for you. I know you can't remember the conversation with her, so I will just let you know that you kept asking for a hint but that she wouldn't give you one. Apparently your father gave you a hint --- "Tell her it'll never happen again." Even though I know what it is, I surely cannot tell you. I can only tell you that you should remember that you discussed this with her and that you should never, ever speak to your mother when you are drunk.

number4of5 said...

Just for the record, she did call me and I thought that I played it off well. Obviously, I didn't-but it was an enjoyable conversation.

Lets not start keeping track of dumb ass things we all do drunk. My memory is very long...and you my brother have not always been innocent.

number4of5 said...

Jenn, Tim, there isn't really a difference so I don't feel that bad. Well, except for the mohawk. One difference.

Anonymous said...

My sister....that is why caller ID is your friend......Private Number=Do not answer....especially when enjoying a few cold ones at the park. If it is important, you can always call back.

number4of5 said...

Actually, when Mom calls I have my phone programmed to play the hallelujah.