Monday, August 22, 2005

Are you sponge worthy?

I am ridiculously competitive. I always have been, I don't know why. It probably has something to do with growing up with so many siblings, but whatever the reason I hate loosing. Especially around a lot of people. That is the worst. I am an ugly looser, but a very ugly winner.

Today was our company picnic and the three sections of the company were competing against each other in the silliest games you have ever seen. Luckily for me my boss is just as competative as I am, so for weeks we were rallying everyone to compete. I even sent out an email to the whole staff yesterday telling them that if they did not bring sneakers to play in they could not have any beer. They all knew that I was not kidding. For weeks I have been talking smack about how our team was going to destroy the rest of the company. I even went so far as to tell my staff that if they did not "Bring it" today they might as well not show up for work in Tuesday. Thank God no one takes me seriously.

But, my aptly named "Green Monsters" brought it today. We won the "Poop the Potato" contest which involved grabbing a potato with your ass cheeks, running and dropping it a bucket. As well as the water balloon toss, the "dizzie lizzie", and the one contest that I competed in, the sponge toss. The goal of this contest was to toss a wet sponge onto a tray that was resting on your partners head, and then balancing the sponge a short distance so you can dump it into a bucket. I went 6 for 6, thank you very much! It's OK you can call me the queen of the sponges. The thrill of victory, even in such stupid, meaningless contests is so great.

Since I am the only person that has worked for every part of the company I pretty much know every employee. This is both good and bad. Good that I had a great time taunting everyone with my teams prowess, but bad that when the water balloon contest endend yours truely became target number one. This is the one area that I definitly did not win. Don't get me wrong, I hit many a strategic target with my water baloons. I hid behind cars, snuck behind trees, and nailed several people, some more than once. But I clearly got my ass kicked. I went so far as to hide next to our company owner and her 2 kids so that I would not get wet. That worked for about 3 minutes until she caught on and feared for the life of her children. By the time I left my whole body was soaked. I had to make a stop for beverages on the way home. As I entered 7-11 I realized how crazy I must have looked because a young boy was staring at me with his mouth open. Now my hair was wet, my shorts looked like I peed myself and my shirt was drenched. Not very surprising that this kid was looking at me funny. So as I passed him I looked him in the eye and said "I lost in a water balloon fight." His 9 year old face registered that this made complete sense for a grown woman to be in a water balloon fight, smiled, said OK and went on his merry way. There is nothing quite as fun as a group of adults behaving like complete children to put me in a good mood.

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