Thursday, September 22, 2005

Yesterday's Gone

I wanted to post a really happy story about how awesome my day was yesterday. I felt the need to describe how the birds were singing to me, how beautiful women were throwing flowers at me in the street, you get the idea. All of these wonderful things happened immediately after I quit my job yesterday. Yes, I quit my job yesterday. I felt all these amazing things for about two hours. Then fear hit. Holy Shit I just quit my job. How the hell am I going to pay my bills? What if I can't find another job? What the fuck did I just do?

The fear lasted until I went to class today. I sat there for four hours and did not once think about my job. Instead, I was happy. I floated out of the building fully confident in my decision, and I don't plan on looking back. I need to focus on school. Bottom line. I don't know the answers to the questions that my fear brings. I have learned that it really doesn't matter. I could spent my life worrying about being safe and would end up getting myself nowhere.

I have reached the point where I am going to stop living the life I don't want, and start living the life I do. It does feel a little bit like I jumped off a cliff without a parachute, but the breeze sure feels nice.


carolyn said...

good riddance to the job.

i worked full-time during full-time grad school and i swear i will never make that mistake again.

number4of5 said...

I couldn't agree with you more. I am not even full time right now and it is too much. Hopefully I can finish school a lot faster now.