Monday, October 31, 2005

There is only one problem, we're on the fifth floor

I was baptized on Halloween, does that explain anything to you?

I forgot how amazing New England looks in the fall. It's silly really. The colors of the trees contrasting with the crisp blue sky, accented by what seems like miles of stone fences- It is what fall should be like everywhere. Fall is OK here. The leaves change, but they do not have the same bold color they do back home. This weekend was very typical of fall in Red Sox territory, snow on Saturday that did not accumulate more than an inch, but did seriously restrict visibility, and then be-you-tea-full on Sunday, in the mid 60's. Oh, I will not bore you with how much I miss home.

I've decided that I am going to throw aside my lofty academic goals and do an in depth study of the people that you come across at highway rest stops. It is bad enough that you must share space with these dregs of humanity while you are peeing/getting food/filling up your tank. But when you sit back and realize that these are the morons that are driving at high speed near you on the road, that is when it really starts to freak me out.

Despite all the fun and exciting things I did this weekend with my peeps, I am going to forgo those stories for what probably is the cinematic event of our lifetime: R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet. I have seen this insanity before, but a new installment came out this past week and my sister TiVo'd the whole thing. Yes TiVo is a verb. Now this story can only be savored if you know my sister, in summary, she is the LAST person on earth you would expect to TiVo an urban Operetta. A connoisseur of pop culture she is not. So when she played the whole thing for Me, Dave and her husband we were all a little dumbfounded. When I die, and I reach the gates of heaven, I am going to beg for that half an hour back. Just that half hour, everything else has been great. Yes Jenn, it was awesome. But awesome in a horribly frightening kind of way. If you have lived under a rock for the past few months and would like a recap of this craziness, here are the Cliff Notes. Be warned that there are seven chapters, but only five in the summary. If you would like to know more, email me, and I can forward all inquiries to my sister.

Now I need to go find my Beretta so I can hunt down Larry Lucchino.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

No Joy in Mudville

Well, laddi-fucking-da.

There is just something about the White Sox I can't get behind. To tell you the truth, I wanted to see the Astros win it. There is just something about Guillen that rubs me the wrong way.

I know, you are probably thinking that I would only cheer for the Red Sox, but that is not true. OK, it is only partially true. It's just that if I am going to watch a Chicago team win it all, I would rather it be the Cubbies.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Pick up here and chase the ride

Before I quit my old job, I found an ad for a position that I really wanted. It was sort of the impetus for leaving my last job, knowing that there are jobs out there that I would actually want to do, instead of a job I just do to make money. I sent them my resume as kind of a throw myself out there exercise. I knew I was qualified for the position, overqualified if you ask me, but thought that someone's nephew was going to end up with it. This is DC, that is how most things work around here. I was OK with that, it just felt good getting the ball rolling. Needless to say, I didn't hear back from them. A few weeks had passed and I was already looking at other options.

Then last week I got a call from them and they asked me for an interview. Booyah! At that point I told myself I was getting this job. They wouldn't know what hit them. They called me this afternoon and offered me the position. I even negotiated for the salary that I wanted. Damn, my life is good. The position itself is a foot in the door, but the great part is that I will finally be working in my field. How great is that? Pretty F-ing great.

I think what sealed the deal was my interviewing strategy. Every time I answered a question I changed my accent. I think they liked that.

So Goodbye unemployment, you have been good to me. You were a little shorter than I wanted, and I will miss my afternoon naps, leisurely reading, and going out for lunch, but this is for the best. Besides there is no better excuse to go shopping than getting a new job, non? That and buying Dave the Ben Folds tickets I promised him if I got this gig.

Could this month get any better? A new job, a new niece, and some bling on my finger. My life is awesome.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Come on pretty momma

As most of you know I am extremely excited about getting married, it is the actual wedding part that I have not been so excited about. I may be an anomaly, but I just don't want it to be a big elaborate thing. I've been to some great weddings, but I don't give a flying rats ass what will be on the tables at my reception. I just don't. For some people that is important and whatever works for them is cool by be. But it isn't me. I genuinely don't care about that kind of stuff. I think the point a wedding is for it to be about the couple, it should be a reflection of your relationship.

Well we are making sure that ours will be, because we have decided to do it in the Bahamas. I am really excited about the wedding now. It just seems more us, in fact pretty much everyone we have told has said the same thing. It is going to be ultra low key, relaxed and most importantly fun.

We are still narrowing down the location, and I am sorry to say that the Four Seasons will not be happening. Damn, I know. Unless an anonymous sponsor would like to step up and pay for this lovely couple's wedding...Anyone...Anyone? OK, thought not. But just remember that offer still stands.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Happy Birthday Kris!

I'm going easy on you my sister. Seeing as you just gave birth and you are still in the hospital, you are getting a free pass this year. Next year, you won't have it so easy, so enjoy this one.

I secretly really like this picture of you. OK, not so secret any more. I think you look so cute when you are preggers. You probably feel miserable, but you look so happy. And yes, this is the first bowling ball, not the current model.

Happy Birthday Kristin! When you get sprung we will celebrate.

Friday, October 21, 2005



This is my Photo Friday retro picture. I love this photo. These men clearly chose to go out in public looking like this. I didn't see anyone forcing them to march around in this crap. But they look so miserable. I mean, I would probably be miserable if I was walking down the street with multi colored tights on, but that is why I would never do it. Or maybe that is why they are holding their swords so tightly, ready to slay the next person who laughs at their ensemble.

This bizarre parade occurred outside of the Duomo in Florence. We were quietly enjoying our day when out of nowhere these men came along. There were dozens of them, accompanied by a drum core. A very loud drum core. Despite what looks like advanced age these guys disappeared pretty quick. It was one of those moments where you wonder later whether or not it really happened. If I hadn't snapped this shot I probably wouldn't have remembered them.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

The time I knew what happiness was

The Red Sox won the ALCS in the Bronx a year ago today.

I took this photo the previous day from our balcony, so this is the view I had the morning of that game.


I actually left this insanely beautiful town so I could go watch the ultimate battle of good vs. evil. They had no internet here. Who needs the internet when you live in a place this pretty I guess. If any part of you thinks that I am crazy, I don't care, cause you don't get it.

This is an excerpt of an email I sent after the empire was defeated:
We beat the Yankees. We beat George, pretty boy Jeter, Mariano "I´m not so scary" Rivera, the over priced ex-MVP (as Neil described him) A-Fraud, and most importantly to me rat face Posada. This feels good, really, really good.

Hell, we are not in the race right now, but that game still makes me feel really, really good.

I think it always will.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Where the people eat

There are so many great things happening in my life today. Not the least of which is the giant waffle cone of coffee ice cream that I am jamming down my pie hole while I type this. Seriously, some good shit is going on in my corner of the planet.

However, I really want to tell you about the greatest discovery I have made since living here. OK, second greatest discovery, nothing beats Five Guys. Today, Al's Steak House has broadened my culinary horizons. I am a very simple woman, give me some meat, some cheese and some bread and I am in food heaven. How I did not make it into Al's before today is a question I may never be able to answer. And a thought I may never forgive myself for.

I have lived in this hood for three years. People have told me about Al's, some who know my palate even demanded that I try it. The place is four blocks from my house, who knows what has taken me so long. But today was the day. We walked down and before we even opened the door I knew I was going to like the place. Above the counter, in huge letters is written "NO CELL PHONES" and judging from the look of the guy behind the counter, they weren't kidding. The decor is everything you want from a sub shop, fake wooden paneling, linoleum floors, random golf trophies, and a signed photo of Ike Turner. Bring on my lunch.

The food was all a girl can dream for. The Steak and Cheese sub was enormous, with an appropriate meat to fat ratio: not too much that you are grossed out, but just enough that it tasted oh so yummy. This place is no nonsense. They don't give you plates, you eat off the paper wrap, all sodas are served by the can, and the menu is short and sweet. It was one of those meals that was so good you could feel your arteries clogging before you got up from your table. The whole experience was like meeting up with a good friend you haven't seen in ages, and catching up on old times. Needless to say, Al's is one of my new favorite joints. Let's just see how long it takes for them to know my name like they do at Five Guys.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Had to listen had no choice

There was in article on this weekend about Cameron Crowe's soundtrack to "Elizabethtown". The article mentions how Crowe used to be a music journalist, and how he incorporates music so well into his movies. They even mentioned how some his most memorable scenes revolve around the music, say Lloyd Dobler, the boom box, and Peter Gabriel, or the band on the bus in "Almost Famous" singing Elton John. Priceless, those scenes made the movies what they are

For the most part I like Cameron Crowe movies, "Say Anything" and "Singles" being at the top of the list, "Vanilla Sky" at the bottom. However you feel about the movies, you cannot deny that the guy knows how to pick a tune for a scene. Even though it is not on the soundtrack, the scene in "Say Anything" where James Court is driving home and singing "Ricky Don't Lose That Number" is brilliant. There have been so many great songs that I have forgiven him for the "Secret Garden" debockle that came out of "Jerry McGuire". You know, where the radio destroyed that song by including audio from the movie. It makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.

Music is such an integral part of people's lives, we all have the soundtrack to our own lives recorded somewhere. I can look at the list of Cameron Crowe soundtrack songs and see so many scenes from my own life. Like when our RA freshman year banged our door down because we were singing, OK screaming, to Jeff Buckley way too loud. Music is so key to setting the tone, or sparking a memory. My own list would be way too extensive, so I put a list together of his songs that have done that for me. Enjoy.

Friday, October 14, 2005



It is Photo Friday everyone, are you excited? Does the anticipation build all week until you can't handle it anymore? Does every Thursday feel like Christmas Eve? Does seeing my blog on Friday feel like a release after seven long days of waiting? Well wait no more my friends, Friday is here!

And this is beer.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

This ain't Jiminy

I find a hot shower to be one of the most relaxing and refreshing parts of my day. I could stay in there forever, and sometimes I do. This is me time, and I cherish every steaming hot minute of it. That is why there is nothing on this earth more unnerving than getting in the shower and finding one of these guys in there with you. Could I be any more vulnerable? These suckers jump, and far. What the hell do I wack them with? The soap? They are not small either, some are like 3 or 4 inches long. I just usually end up screaming like a little girl. It is no fun I tell you, no fun.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Your lying eyes

Our breakup was not easy. I honestly felt that he was not putting enough effort into our relationship. It started out great, he came into my world and blew me away. He was the star of the show and I allowed him to be. He was amazing. He was the best one to come around in my lifetime. And that smile. He could light up the world with that smile. Then I think he stopped caring. He just didn't put his all into it. He was letting others influence what was happening between us. I started to get upset, I mean who cares what other people think? Right? Just keep doing what is working. Yeah there are other guys, but I am not worried about them. This is about us. Me and you, that's it. Like a fool I hung on after he started seeing that other girl. Whore. Who the fuck does she think she is? Whatever. I know we were just holding on to the way things used to be. It was doomed. Then it happened. He left town and broke my heart. He tried to say that it wasn't his decision, but I knew he wanted to go. It was obvious. He just wasn't putting his heart into it anymore. It really hurt. I wasn't sure I would be able to handle it, but I did. I eventually focused on other guys and things have been great since then. I mean I have been doing really, really well.

Then, I found out he is back in town. What the hell? Don't come around here acting like a hero and think I wouldn't see. I noticed OK. And don't think that those women were really in trouble. They just wanted your attention honey, and like always you gave it to them. Not even a phone call? Fine. If that is how you want it to be, I can handle it. Just don't be mad when I flaunt my ring around. Yeah you know, the one my new guys got me last year. Sorry, I got it without you. I bet you won't forget that for a long time baby.

Four for Four

It is hard to write a paper knowing that Bravo is showing all of West Wing Season Six this week. Incredibly hard. I though that with the end of the Red Sox season would come more focused studying time. I thought wrong.

I had my toe cut into again yesterday. Four times in four years, I am trying to break a record. I think that I am the only woman in her twenties who sees a Podiatrist. At least that is what it felt like in the waiting room. Me and the old people chillin' watching CNN. Good stuff. During the procedure the doctor kept talking to me to get me relaxed, where do you work? Where are you from? etc. When I told him I was from Mass, he told me he just watched Fever Pitch and asked me if I saw it. I told him no, because I haven't. I don't think I need to, from what I know of the movie, I feel like I live it.

Monday, October 10, 2005

After the boys of summer have gone

I keep reading that we should not be too upset about the Red Sox loss because we won it last year. People keep telling me, oh but we weren't as good as last year, etc. We should just be happy that we won it last season, blah, blah, blah. Fuck that. I am pissed, and I have started to figure out why. Over the years I dreamed about the Sox winning the series, sometimes I wouldn't even let myself think about because it seemed so unattainable. But there was always two constants in that thought that seeped into my brain, there is no way in hell I will not be in Boston and I hope I get to see my Dad's face when it happens.

My father is one of those lifelong Sox fans who grew progressively bitter about the team. No matter how well the Sox were doing he would always rain on my happy parade. "Aww, don't get too excited they'll find a new way to blow it," or "I told you so," were phrases that I came to detest. The problem was he was usually right. They usually broke my heart year in and year out. I never saw the heartache that my father knew with the Red Sox. His father had season tickets, good ones at that, first base side where all the luxury boxes are now. During the '67 World Series they needed the seats for the press, so the team replaced my grandfather's two tickets with four tickets on the third base line. This meant that my Dad, his father, and his two brothers saw all four home games of the '67 series. He saw Captain Carl finish off the summer of Yaz in defeat. I can't imagine how my Dad, younger than I am now, swallowed that one. It was obviously not well because he never talks about it. There have been so many Red Sox teams that have disappointed since then it is easy to see how he grew so cynical.

When Dave I started planning our trip oversees last fall one of the first things out of my mouth was, but what if the Red Sox go to the Series? Now having grown up a Yankees fan, Dave gave me that "The Red Sox are not going to win the series, are you crazy?" look. (As a side note, yes I believe that agreeing to marry a man who grew up routing for the team in pinstripes is why we lost this week. I only had 3 rules for dating guys, and the first was no Yankees fans. Look where that got me.) So I went ahead and left the country wondering what my boys would do in the fall. Of course they battled it out with the Bronx Bombers while I traversed the countryside searching out 24 hour internet cafes so I could watch the games on MLB.TV.

Then, while I was in Munich, the Sox won the American league. I did not move from my seat the entire game for fear that I would jinx them. Until...the ninth inning when the screen died. I was in the worst panic you have ever seen. Dave was trying frantically to get the computer back up, but it was taking too long. I couldn't handle it so I ran across the street to the train station and called home. Phew the game was still on and I could hear it because my sister put the phone up next to the TV. Then, the phone on my sister's side fell and I could hear nothing. I was screaming, in the train station mind you at about four in the morning, for someone to put the phone back up, but no one could hear me. It was too late. The Sox finally beat the Yankees in the playoffs and all I saw and heard was weirdos in the train station staring at me funny, and my family screaming. Nice. I quickly got over that. We just fucking beat the Yankees! We are going to the World Series! Holy Shit I am in Germany!

So the next few days while I tried to figure out what to do about the Red Sox, we traveled to Prague. Somewhere in between Germany and the Czech Republic I decided that I was going to go home. Logistically this meant cutting my trip short by a few days. I was there for over two months, what is a few days right? And I planned it out so well. There was still a few key places that I wanted to see, so I stayed in Europe as long as possible. While in Prague, the Series started, and there were no 24 hour internet cafes. Luckily, after frantic searching, knowing that his girlfriend was going to have a cow, Dave found a bar that was going to show the game. It was in this very cool old basement with beautiful brick arches and a projection TV. Perfect. It was even filled with Red Sox fans from all over Massachusetts. Guys from Braintree, Quincy, and Bridgewater made me feel like I was home. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep and quality food in that day, or nerves, but I started to feel like shit. Really like shit. So the Red Sox are about to play in the World Series for the first time in eighteen years, my sister is at the damn game, and I am projectile vomiting in the bathroom. Lovely. As a testament to Dave and how well he knows me, there was not one point while he was cleaning me up in the bathroom where he asked me if I wanted to leave. Vomit or no vomit I am watching this damn game and he knew it.

We won that game. We won the next game too. And the next, which is great if you are a Sox fan. But not great if you are a Sox fan who planned on making it home in time to watch the final game barring that anyone swept. Who sweeps in the World Series? The Cards won like 100 games last year, they couldn't even take one from us? Not one? As if not being in Boston isn't bad enough, just know that while the Red Sox were celebrating the end of the Curse in St. Louis, I was sitting on a bench in the airport in Frankfurt sans internet, sans TV. I ran out of phone cards and there were no shops open, so I couldn't even listen to the game. Ouch, it still stings.

Don't get me wrong I was very, very happy that the Sox won it all. The problem was, I felt a little cheated. In my dream I pictured it different. I didn't get to see my Dad overcome a lifetime of heartache. I would kill to have seen that. I have watched every highlight reel and DVD of the whole thing over, and over again. But it is not the same. Part of me feels like it never happened, like it was really a dream. I guess I just really wanted it this year so I could feel it for myself. I know that it could never be like last year, but I just kind of hoped I could pretend. I wanted to recreat what I could not have and it failed. I am not writing this so anyone will feel bad for the girl who had to spend last fall in Europe, poor thing. This isn't intended to be a sob story. I am just still really bummed about Friday. Let's just hope that Theo picks up some pitching in the off season so we can do this all over again in a few months.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Somewhere there is a fat lady singing

You play like shit and you don't win, bottom line. We have been playing like shit since August. The whole second half of the season has been unmagical. They did not seem to want it like last year. I could play the blame game, who's fault is it this time? Terry? Graff? Clement? Schilling? Foulke? I don't know, nobody seemed ready to win except Papi and Manny. And that will be the last time we see Manny in a Red Sox uniform, cause he ain't sticking around. Who is Theo going to part with this year? Johnny needs a pay raise and probably won't see it. It sure would have been nice to see Derek Lowe on the mound this week. I don't know, I am in a bad mood. My sister said this to me today and I think it is worth repeating here, "The Red Sox are an embarassment to the whole Commonwealth." Why can't I be in Austria right now?

I didn't think I would have say this so soon, but there is always next year...

Go Angels!


The Photo Friday Challenge this week is Five. What does this picture have to do with five you ask? Well, it does not make much sense for the challenge, but it makes complete sense for my blog. Since I have this whole number theme thing going on, this picture is perfect. This, my dear readers, is number5. Yep, Uncle Donkey himself is number5.

He is the caboose. The spoiled one. The one we all watched get his diapers changed. The one who got away with everything. The one who I am just now getting over the fact that he was born after me. Doesn't he look all grown up in this photo?

A little bit of this

My parents mailed me a package for my birthday, and due to the wonders of the U.S. Postal service I got it today. Inside was one of the best birthday cards I have ever seen. On the outside is written: "I'm smiling because you're my daughter" Inside: "...and I am laughing because there's nothing you can do about it!" So true, so true.

Well my Mom mailed me a whole bunch of stuff that was in boxes under my bed at home. Keep in mind that my parents have lived in the same place for 27 years, there could be anything in the boxes under my bed. The coolest thing I found is an old organizer/calendar from High School. I marked down all the normal stuff like French tests, volleyball practices, 11 months til' I get my license, pitched my first varsity game (which apparently we won by 15 runs thank you very much), etc. But there is some wacky crap in there that will let you into my fifteen year old mind. For example, January 31st is Nolan Ryan's birthday, very useful information for high schools girls. Or, April 25th buy new yellow jeans at Filene's Basement. Yellow jeans...yeah. It is pretty fun to look back on all the things I used to think were important and laugh. Maybe I will be doing that with my blog some day.

And Sheri, just in case you were wondering, the day of the Papa Gino's incident was January 29, 1991. Nope, you ain't ever gonna live that down.

Thursday, October 06, 2005


Listen Graff, I know that you weren't around last year, but you need to get your damn shit together. Can someone teach this clown to Cowboy Up? Or shave his head, something, anything. And Johnny, don't think you are exempt. Have you heard this new concept? It's called not swinging at balls outside the strike zone! How it works is, if the pitcher doesn't throw within the strike zone four times, you get to go to first base. It's called a walk. And you should think about this when there is a man on second and your team is down by one run in the ninth inning. Cause swinging at 97 mile an hour junk is not going to get us into the ALCS.

Does anyone think that me quitting my job and the playoffs happening is a coincidence? I timed this boys. Are you trying to tell me that I need to go back to Europe?

Oh the bitter fucking irony.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

I'm Sorry

I would like to publicly apologize to any of my family or friends who have been engaged. I am sorry if I ever asked you about your wedding plans, I really am. I am especially sorry if I asked you about your wedding plans within a month of you being engaged. I never realized how much of an ass I was being. I should of just been happy that you were happy.

The thing is, I am going to full on body slam the next person who asks me when I am getting married. I know that they mean well, but I will, with the full force of my body, knock them to the ground. I have spent the better part of the day floating around with excitement. If gazing off into space, or staring at one's hand, were an Olympic sport, I would have won a gold metal by now. However, every time someone asked me about the wedding, I remembered that I actually had to plan it. Getting married will be fun. Planning the wedding, not so fun.

So I am sorry if I put a dent in anyone's floating by using the W or M words. I know better now.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Happy Birthday Ass Face!!!

It is Aisling's birthday today and I can't stop thinking about how lucky she is to be born the day after me. Damn girl, between that and having me as a friend you hit the jackpot. So here goes, just keep in mind that I am throwing myself under the bus with you in these pictures. And, I've seen you do some pretty dumb shit so it is a shame that this is the only photographic evidence.

This is Screech, the mascot for the Washington Nationals. What you can't see in this picture is Aisling, on the right, giving the poor bird rabbit ears. How old are you now Ais? Aren't you graduating from law school this year? At least the lady in the background thought you were funny.

Again, I am not doing myself any favors with this photo. But Aisling this is St.Patricks day, you should be representing your homeland a little better than this. Wait, on second thought, this is a fair representation of your homeland. I wouldn't expect much from a dirty, dirty Yankees fan.

Happy birthday Aisling! Thanks for coming out last night and celebrating with me. It does suck that your team is going to loose tonight on your big day. Sorry.

Don't be fooled by the rock that I got

I really only wanted one of two things for my birthday, a puppy or a scanner. I was lobbying well for both, without shame. I even named the puppy. Now which one did Dave get me for my birthday you ask? Neither. Yup, did not get what I asked for this year. He is officially losing boyfriend status.

However, the diamond ring that my fiance gave me is quite fabulous. I can't stop smiling.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Oldy McOldson

Since I did it to my boyfriend and my to brother, it is only fair that I do it to myself. Just keep in mind that if I know you, chances are it will happen on your birthday too. I had to dig deep for a few of these, and in that process I found soooo many good shots of those nearest and dearest to me. Be afraid my friends, be very afraid.

So in honor of the anniversary of my arrival into this world, I give you embarrassing pictures of myself. Enjoy!

There really is an entirely great story to this photo that is awesome in its own right, but who cares. I look like a circus freak who forgot to take her meds.

Did I really think that puckering my lips together like that would distract anyone from the atrocity that is occurring on my head? OK, so I just let my hair down after my sister's wedding. No excuse. I have scared myself with this one.

Eeeek! My sisters look relatively normal in this picture, but not me on the right. It was taken about 15 years ago, so I will cut us some slack on that. However, why did we ever want to have curly hair? And my outfit, good God. Thankfully I grew out of wearing large men's sweaters that were the same color as the pants I put on. I know I thought I looked good in that. Too bad you can't see the shoes. I guarantee that they are LLBean brown boat shoes. You know, the ones where we all tied our laces into curly q's. That was hot.

Obviously this is Halloween. And yes, that is Dave and me. What is scary is that we were not even dating yet. Yikes. He was so attracted to my pink beehive that we started dating a few weeks later. Who could resist earrings shaped like albums? I am such a Vixen.

This was my birthday party twenty three years ago. All kidding aside, I still love that dress with the matching ribbons. I find it funny because I have been told that I still make this face. This is photographic evidence that I have always been this cute!

I would like to thank the World Champion Boston Red Sox for winning the game yesterday and therefore not having a playoff game on my birthday. There was no way I was going to miss a playoff game, so I would have had to cancel my party. No Game, Party on.