Thursday, March 15, 2007

The truth will set you free

My Dad asked me yesterday why I haven't updated the blog in a while. The only answer I could give him was the truth. The naked, ugly truth is that I don't know. I don't. No reason, just haven't blogged.

I have seen blogs where the author may have taken a while to post, and starts off with "Sorry I haven't blogged in a while..." Or, "OH My Gosh my life has been soooo crazy....blah, blah, blah." I won't do that. If I was sorry, I would have blogged. These same blogs will often make false promises about the future, "I promise I will write more later...blah, blah, bullshit." I make no promises to year dear reader, of that you can be sure.

So instead of feeding you crappy lines, I am going to follow my friend Clarkson's lead and give you a list. A succinct list of reasons of why I haven't been blogging, in reverse order of importance, strictly for your pleasure.

5. I was so traumatised by the rumor that Tom Brady had also gotten Gisele Bundchen pregnant, therefore destroying any chance of him being able to focus, and win, and beat down that loud-mouthed, over exposed baby named Peyton Manning, that I lost my ability to type. This actually almost happened.

4. I started a new blog, where I pretend that I am Curt Schilling. This has been really successful so far, and I think everyone believes me.

3. I have been searching out, and plotting (this may seem like a funny word, but is probably the most accurate) various locations in my office that would be suitable for taking a nap. Rest assured I have not been doing this alone.

2. I've been adopted by Angelina Jolie.

1. Wait for knew it was coming...wait for it...I am actually the father of Anna Nicole Smith's didn't that feel good?


Lis said...

Ooooh, where would be the best place to take a nap? Christine has proven that the car is an option.

carolyn said...

i hate HATE those apology blogs. they drive me nuts. just because you get comments from people you don't know (and supposedly million of emails saying 'are you OK? you haven't posted') doesn't mean you're ALL THAT and need to notify them of absences. seriously. idiots. i am always telling people i have a 'no apologies' policy at girlreaction.